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Home > Best friend asked for a cosigner a few days ago...
 

Best friend asked for a cosigner a few days ago...

July 11th, 2009 at 08:03 pm

But of course I am not doing it. I know better. But I still feel bad because I know that if she asked me that her family must be doing pretty badly. She is married with three children. She told me last week about some debts that she had and she said she owes a deposit of $2000 to pay tuition for her oldest child. My friend feels that the private school is worth it since her child has special learning needs. But $10000 a year seems a bit much for a one income earning family (husband is a firefighter). I don't have kids so maybe I just can't say much on this issue.

So she texts me and asks me how my credit is and that she needs a favor. The favor was cosigning for a 90 day loan. She needs it because they have too many bills at one time right now but they "can definitely repay the loan." My worry is that once the bills are paid, things will get tight again and the loan won't be able to get paid. And then a bank will come looking for me. I am not exactly a high income earner. I told her that I didn't want to cosign anything and that if she needed to borrow a small amount personally, I could do that. That wasn't good enough though. I just can't bring myself to do it. But why do I feel guilty then?

I also feel as if serious mistakes were made financially in their past. They recently got Iphones. I have a $15 dollar phone from walmart. Also they moved in with two roommates originally, one being my friend's aunt. The aunt moved out and now the other guy is there. He is unemployed and does not pay any bills or rent (except for occasionally when he gets the money from his mother.) They should have moved a long time ago and left this guy behind. It's not like he's family or anything. I know I shouldn't feel bad. But when your best friend's family is struggling... I still offered to let them borrow a small amount but my guess is that they need to borrow a few grand. And if that came back on me, I don't know what I would do!

10 Responses to “Best friend asked for a cosigner a few days ago...”

  1. angie Says:

    As far as I am concerned you made the right decision on not co-signing the loan. She may be mad at you but a true friend will understand. Not to long ago, my bff asked to borrow my truck to haul her horse trailer to go get a new horse. She had never hauled a trailer before let alone one with a moving horse in it. I told her no and she was mad for a few days then got over it. I wish you luck and know that you made the right decision.

  2. baselle Says:

    You made the right decision - and I think that you made the right decision by telling your friend what you can do. You can loan her a certain amount, but no more. Please don't feel guilty about it. Your friend is struggling, but notice that her first go-to solution was not to tighten her belt, but to go for your pocket.

  3. nmboone Says:

    Angie- Good decision on that one. Yeah, right now I don't know if she's mad or not. I hope not.
    Basselle- That's the part I don't understand. She didn't even attempt to call me and let me know what she was doing on her end to stop the money hemorrhaging. That might have made a person more willing to do it at least. All she did was text me about the loan. I would at least call the person up and talk to them personally. Maybe she was embarrassed?

  4. whitestripe Says:

    i am glad that you did not do it. please don't. she may be mad for a few days, but can you imagine if you loaned it to her and she could not pay it back? that would open a whole other can of worms. atleast this way your friendship is not hurt.

  5. NJDebbie Says:

    I'm also glad that you did not cosign on the loan. They clearly need to manage their money correctly and getting Iphones shows that they are not. As a mom, I can't imagine having a special needs child and it's great to be able to afford a specialized school. They can't! Anyway don't give in!

  6. No Pain | No Gain Says:

    Smart choice... it's a cycle. She probably would not have been able to repay the loan, or in a timely fashion - that would have hurt you (her credit is already messed up, she prolly wouldn't care).

    Stay strong. Her problems have nothing to do with you. Just be there to talk, if she needs a shoulder... Smile

  7. Ima saver Says:

    You made the right decision. Never co sign for anyone!

  8. north georgia gal Says:

    You made the right decision. Private school is great, if you can afford it. If not, and since the mother isn't working, public school will have to do with the mother picking up the slack! Sounds like they don't a good financial history and have not learned from their mistakes. I have been in that position. Someone kept bailing me out so I never learned. If you really want to do something, offer to buy the kids school clothes or something. But know that whatever you give them you probably won't get back.

  9. milehighgal Says:

    You absolutely did the right thing!

  10. Jerry Says:

    There is no question that your inclination was correct. You should no co-sign on a friend's loan if you want to lead the friendship to stay healthy... and there are enough red flags in this situation that you can imagine that it would have ended poorly. There's no such thing as friend insurance in financial matters -- except exactly what you did!
    Jerry

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